The Ship, Cadmore End - 6th August 2008

Run Report by Steve S

Having somehow avoided run report duties so far this summer, I felt duty bound to volunteer to be this week’s scribe. With absence due to holidays etc. still very evident, a marginally larger group than last week gathered at the Ship for this weeks trek. Having taken the register, Jules, Amanda, Chris, Susie, Pete, Steve T, David and myself were all marked as present and just about ready for the off, when a rather flushed, half naked (well.. topless!) cyclist came racing towards us. JB had seemingly got his eta from Kingshill totally wrong and almost missed the start. However, after hurriedly donning a top and eventually finding a secure spot (??!!) for his bike, we set off.

A very pleasant (all downhill) start through rolling Bucks countryside had me thinking that at some point a ‘gentle’ climb was soon to be upon us. Having been lulled into a bit of a comfort zone, I think I had completely lost my bearings as we dropped down in to Turville when a sharp right turn presented us with the climbing wall that leads up to the Windmill. With several members of the group opting to run this, I went for the ‘home question’, deciding that a bit of oxygen debt due to walking was better than a cardiac arrest and total body collapse from trying to run.

Once gathered / recovered at the top, a fairly rapid descent down the other side presented us with yet another climb. What looked to be a more gentle slope was, to those with previous knowledge, possibly more of a psychological challenge than the first hill. A rather bemused couple out for an evening stroll, or alternative summer evening outdoor pursuit (?), were overtaken by the fitties, and then kindly held the gate open for the not so fit, who desperately tried to give the impression that the hill had presented very little difficulty. But once through the gate, an even steeper section of foot path demonstrated our true fitness levels and normal service of walking (for me anyway) was resumed.

After a flat final section, we returned to the pub after having completed just under 4 miles in approx 50 mins. Having opted for a sensible shorter route, Heather was already waiting for us. As we turned the car park into our usual changing room, I was aware of some shenanigans going on with the locals. Firstly it seemed that our ‘parallel’ parking had upset some and after moving the cars accordingly, I hope that the one extra space created help restore harmony. John, meanwhile was in negotiations with a ‘local’ over the release of his bike, which this individual had taken the liberty of padlocking to a gas canister !! The pub was fairly busy for a Wednesday, with local fayre seemingly very popular. Service was……….slow. In what was quickly turning in to a sauna, we retired to the covered area of the patio for drinks and nibbles as apparently the garden was out of bounds due to flooding ? Just for future reference the pub does not sell lager and I am reliably informed that the White wine spritzers have a certain ‘mouldy’ quality, also the sundried tomatoes in the olives have a ‘fizzy’ taste consistent with having a sell by date of 2006 !

Usual topical conversation pieces entertained us all. How to fool the Olympic drug testers by injecting someone else’s urine into one’s bladder prior to the test, and how there was a roaring trade in scrap metal leading to cannibalisation of road signs and burglary where copper piping is the primary target. The sound of rain on the canopy roof prompted fond memories of camping trips where the thought of a 400m trip to the ablutions block in the middle of the night gave rise to the dilemma of…. ‘I really need to get up before daylight so I won’t be seen nipping round behind the nearby hedge’ !

Next weeks jaunt will be from the Chequers in Wheeler End at 7pm. Would anyone with local knowledge be able to plan a route please ?

The Squirrel, Penn Street - 30th July 2008

Run Report by Pete

Six, credit-crunched, non-holidaying, serious runners turned out on Wednesday last for the "repeat" Squirrel run from the beautiful setting on Penn Street green. If there had been a 20 over cricket match on then we would have had it all. On a glorious summer’s evening when you wonder why you ever thoug ht of emigrating (that is until the holidaying chavs on the pub lawn opened their traps!) Susie, Amanda, Jules, Rodders, John and I met for a stroll through Penn Wood and Common Wood (presumably named after some of the other visitors to the area).

Amanda was struggling a little with a small hamstring injury, so as gallant as ever, I hung back to ensure she was OK (I was not slow!!) as Jules was far too busy with his map reading to worry about his wife’s fitness.
They say that in life, one should always "stop to smell the flowers" and so after the first mile we did. Unfortunately these particular flowers had been laid "in memoriam" after a tragic accident in the woods and so with words of condolence on we ran.

The injured/slow/female contingent took a slightly shorter run home (but only after the two mile gradual descent has been followed by a shorter steeper ascent). Rodders kindly sent us down a narrow, steep, nettle-infested path which then meant we had to run back up another hill, during which time Susie thought it would be a great idea to try to have a conversation with me about my career. Given I cannot run and wheeze, I kicked on and left Susie and Amanda for dead (a bit like Paula R did in 2004 in Athens). In the spirit of true gallantry I then let them past so they could have the glory of arriving back at the Squirrel first. Apparently we ran 4.03 miles. It felt longer.

The big 4 (can anybody break into that group in 2008/9?) arrived a few minutes later having taken a much easier (but slightly longer) route back to the pub, where we were met by Heather who arrived racing (on her bike) into the car park wearing the Maillot Jaune (or at least a bit of yellow in her shirt – I think). She looked fit. It must be all the running she keeps missing.

After a quick beer, 17 packets of nibbles and a few insect bites outside, we retired inside to debate a) the economy – 2 minutes, b) drinking among "the youth of today" – 15 minutes and c) the GB Olympic gold medal count – 20 minutes.

It was quickly determined that a ) the economy is f….d, b) we need differential drink pricing and the options are either beer is reduced and alcopops are put up or we charge by age range ("Ah, pint for you sir, certainly and as you are 52 that is £1.25 and an alcopop for you young man, well as you’re 18 (ho, ho) that’s £8.75"). I’ve rang the "man who knows" (Jeremy Clarkson not Gordon Brown) and apparently it will be in the next budget statement!

The sweep for c) was 7 Heather, 8 Amanda, 9 John, 10 Susie, 11 Jules, 13 Pete and 14 Rodders. Oh how little faith we have in our cyclists, sailors and boxers!

Next week we thought of going to the Squirrel at Penn Street, but apparently that has already been done (John, bloody listen next time) and so we went for second best. The Ship, Cadmore End, 7pm. Possible the roller coaster – the dark night!