Jules & Amandas' 21st May 2008

Run Report by Selwyn


Steve T is threatening to publish league tables of how many run reports we have each done, so watch out everyone. Apparently my record is not good, so hence my (somewhat reluctant) acceptance of the invitation to write this week’s report. Yes it’s late, but at least it should be a little more descriptive than Rodders’ recent effort. Jules has suggested that we should all attempt 100 words minimum, by the way.

Amanda & Jules very kindly invited us to run from their place at the earlier than usual start of 7.45 pm in order that we could return for drinks & eats while settling down to watch the Champions League Final.

Runners had been invited to wear colours showing their allegiance to the finalists. To a certain extent this was complied with, but for some (notably Brett), this resulted in some very strange attire.

Brett wore a very fetching blue cropped top, exposing his midriff in a very unseemly manner. As far as we could see he did not have the diamond stud in his navel – just the normal blue fluff.

Doug wore an attractive little number in blue and yellow polyester and confessed that as a result he had taken the precautionary measure of Vaselining his nipples.

Steve T and myself wore red, David (I think) wore yellow & black (obviously a Wolves supporter) and the remainder (Duds, Kate, Jerome, Susie & Chris) wore various shades of grey, presumably to demonstrate their ambivalence to, or probably more likely total disinterest in either team.

A beautiful evening for a run, the route was the normal one from Amanda & Jules, ie down a steep incline to Bennett End at the start, up a long drawn out gradual climb to the west, through Crowell Wood at the top and back down a track to return to Bennett End. David & I opted to walk up that steep incline home and of course the extra loop fitties had caught us up by the time we reached the field at the top.

Amanda was there to greet us on our return, perfectly timed for the start of the match. Spider joined us, together with various young offspring already in attendance.

At half time, Amanda treated us to a magnificent (and healthy) spread of lasagne & salad. Various attendees made their exits at various times and the rest, as they say, is history.

Many thanks to Amanda & Jules for their generous hospitality.

Venue for the next run (tomorrow) is to be the Flower Pot PH at Aston. To get there by car, turn north off the A4130 Maidenhead to Henley road, or you can get to it across the Thames (by bike or on foot) from Mill End on the A4155 Marlow to Henley road. I will maybe devise a different route to the one we have done previously, if you like.

Five Horseshoes, Maidensgrove - 14th May 2008

Run Report by Jerome

The Five Horsehoes at Maidensgrove on a beautiful summer’s evening was the venue for this week’s run and a fine setting indeed.
Attending were Jules, Chris, Amanda, Susie, Spider, Duds, Steve, Selwyn, David, Kate, Presso, myself and a new runner named Pete Robinson who obviously has been sailing around the world and forgot to stop the first time round. I thought he looked reasonably fit but someone else (can’t remember who) thought a few pounds had found their way on to his midriff. The highlight of the attire was the Roddicks skin tight tops. No prizes for guessing who looked better in theirs.
Fortunately we set off down the steepest hill on the running circuit, so steep that if there was a fresh dump of snow on it the avalanche risk would be 5 on the avalancheometer.
The first two miles was very up and down to the extent that at the first opportunity David, Presso Pete and Selwyn found the alternative route home. The rest of us continued to run into the distance with one person particularly wondering whether he had made a mistake.
However despite some nervous (I’m not sure where we are) looks from Jules the map reader we ran through some lovely woods with fast conditions before coming across a pretty pond with the sun shining just behind – this made it all worthwhile…..NOT!
Shortly after this Kate who had not been running with her usual smoothness, indeed she looked like she had a weight on her shoulders, had to stop. It turned out that the weight wasn’t in her shoulders but elsewhere and it needed to be offloaded.
Obviously this wasn’t clear to the runners until the time elapsed made it clear that this wasn’t the usual stop. Indeed as we looked back a couple of cows started to get a little fruity and we wondered whether they had seen something. Somehow these cows turned out to be Rhodesian Ridgebacks or so Presso and Rodders were discussing afterwards. Somehow I missed the point of this bit and would ask that this is clarified by return.
We finished with the steepest hill on the running circuit and it was disappointing to see that a chairlift hadn’t been installed in anticipation of the snow. For those who ran up it respect and for those who walked respect too.
The pub was hospitable and quiet – yet another sign of the deepening economic crisis in the UK. Steve & Jules started discussing Nintendo Wii’s and at that point a few of us started discussing the commercial opportunities of X rated Wii’s that you can somehow gain sexual satisfaction from. If Jules and Steve think this has potential then please call me.
David disappeared after a drink to dinner somewhere – is there something going on?
At this point and as I moved on to another pint of Krone my memory starts to fade.
That’s pretty much it other than to say thankyou to all who sponsored fred for her walk this weekend and that next week we are running from Jules and Amanda’s house starting at 6.45 in order to watch the Champion League Final. Someone said that we had to wear Blue or Red for the run but frankly the final is a farce because the team that should be there (Arsenal if you don’t know) got knocked out due to a bent referee paid off by the two finalists.
I assume that the hosts would like confirmation of attendees as soon as possible in order to prepare for the onslaught of us Glasgow Rangers fans.
Until next week………………………….Jerome
PS: Sorry Kate

Stag & Huntsman, Hambleden 7th May 2008

Run Report by Steve

On a beautifully sunny evening a the group of us met in the car park of the Stag and Huntsman in Hambleden. Those present were Brett, John, Jerome, Doug, Presso, Chris, Kate, Jules, Amanda, David, Selwyn, (a very slim) Spider and I.

This was a new run created by Selwyn, who – let’s face it - probably has the best sense of direction of any of us and so it was no surprise it all went off without a hitch.

The first part of the run consisted of a game of chicken, running the gauntlet of 200 metres of nettles as we traversed uphill along a narrow footpath, past Kenricks.

After the severe climb, (which was welcomed warmly by all), we continued to the top of the ridge across open fields. By then the wind had picked up a bit and made running conditions just about perfect.

At one point Jules did actually mis-judge the wind slightly and I got a bit of a face full, but he assures me it was an accident. Oh yes, and Amanda had a bit of a nearly-fall (again) but recovered well.

The highlight of the trip was the promised Teletubby House, complete with a grass roof. Apparently, it has an interior floor area of 1000 square metres - lots of room for Po to play with La-la’s Tinky-Winky or whatever.

A little further on Presso, Brett and David discretely avoided the extra loop by hanging back a bit then scarpering when no-one was looking. The rest of us carried on, finishing in around an hour. On the Garmin that Santa brought me for Christmas I made it 5.14 miles.

The beer garden proved a most welcome end to the evening, complete with having their outside bar open – always think that’s a nice touch. The group separated into the main table and the “grumpy old men” table (Kate’s words, not mine). For a local boy I thought that Jerome headed off sooner than expected and the depleted numbers consolidated onto the main table.

Interestingly enough, we all unanimously agreed on the venue for the run after next, but not on the one next week. The run after next (21st) is the Champions League final so we will be making our traditional footy-based excursion to Jules and Amanda’s house. As it is a (Mighty) Man U vs. Chelski final all runners are encouraged to wear either red or blue kit on the run depending on peoples team allegiances or wardrobe contents. Appropriate hats, scarves, klaxons, trumpets, drums etc. are also welcome.

After much cogitation, I am opting for next weeks run (14th) to be from the Five Horseshoes in Maidensgrove. A bit of a trek to get there - but a lovely run.

Cheese.

Steve.

The Jolly Farmer, Cookham Dean - 30th April 2008

Run Report by Brett

I cant believe that I actually enjoyed the outing last night, given that
it was more than a little reminiscent of the worst of school cross
country runs. Running for almost an hour in sodden conditions at the
back of the pack with Captain of rugby Jerome 'German' Bartlett stomping
through puddles and splashing water and mud over all.
No school uniform last night but lots of clingy lycra and luminous togs.
I made a reappearance as the 1970's German goalkeeper Sepp Maier, JB
came straight from his cone placing duty on the M40 and Presso having
run five miles and supped three pints of 'Braks' was straight off to the
Little Milton floodlit bobsleighing championships....... Without his
helmet. Now that's what I call a Triathlete.
Rodders showed his sensitive side by hanging around the back markers and
chatting in his esay way as Doug heaped praise on the continental
refering of the previous nights Man U/Barca encounter. Selwyn who
everyone knows is Keith Hacketts right hand man had his blackbook in
hand taking copious and quite soggy notes. Mrs Riv. came out of
retirement despite the rain)and gave her mended ankle a good work out.
The state of her running shoes this morning means that last nights
adventure is going to cost me a new pair of diamante gym shoes.
Steve 'blogger' Taylor was threatening to pull the blog site, I think
through lack of contribution from other runners,(but I might have got
that wrong). I feel it has been a great success and wouldn't want to see
it go. Fred suggested that perhaps we could add weekly photos and
thankfully is prepared to bring along her box brownie next week.
The Jolly Farmer at Cookham Dean was quiet when we departed on the run
and heaving when we returned, so we went downhill to the more basic
Uncle Toms Cabin. Jules cleverly used the term 'earthy' in describing
the pub, as we dragged clumps of mud across the already filthy floor.
Did anyone have a thick head this morning?. David 'if I was born to
drink lager rather than ale my surname would be Heineken' Abbott,
announced he suffers from a headache when he drinks Brakspears. This is
strange 'cos Presso was telling me that his permanent migraine subsides
as soon as he starts drinking.
It didn't take long to move onto this years pet subject -the content of
Duds sent items. I must say that I find them reassuringly offensive and
was intrigued to note that Amanda can get the up to date football scores
and Duds latest offerings in split screen stylee on that funny techno
thing she had last night.
Lastly and to regognise those who I didn't overhear or chat to, I would
like to thank Richard for going drinking with me on Sunday and Kate for
giving me a lift home and for nominating her daughter to sit for us.
Meanwhile at the end of the evening Susie sat firmly on Chris's lap, I
assume on account of the inadequate seating or was it just to prevent
him from undertaking that final quick loop around the car pub
park......have I forgotten anyone?
See you next week at The Stag & Huntsman.