The Golden Ball & George & Dragon, West Wycombe - 18th June 2008

Run Report by Chris


Aah… Sorry! I know I said I would do it!
And now it’s Tuesday and all Hell is going to break loose because I haven’t. However I have come up with the answer!!!!

"A Form letter run report" Brilliant!

Here is the first draft: Please delete as appropriate sections in red!
We all met up in the car park at the (Venue: enter pub name). Although the weather was a bit We had to wait for (Chris/Kate/Chris/Amanda/Chris/Chris) as they were late again. Another half an hour or so was also wasted whilst (Jules/Jules/Jules/Jules) faffed around with (sat navs/Watch/Batteries/Maps/Bike).
The run started with a (steep run up hill/ very steep run up hill) whilst Fred complained about Jerome’s (smoking/weight gain/slobbyness-probably don’t need to delete any). At the top Presso, Selwyn and David got a bit nervous that the pub was now a good 4oo yds away and headed off on a short loop, They were joined by (Doug/Richard) because (they had a bad knee/had a bad day at the office/ had a good day at the office/ they’re worth it!)
The rest of us followed the lane for another ¾ mile. As ever the conversation was the same:
(pick 2 from the following)
Steve Sutton recalled his present injury list.
Kate told us all how much she is now running
Steve T what a big killing he made on his house sale
John what’s wrong with Gordon Brown
Chris wittered on about something which only he understood and found funny
Amanda how she had gone in the office for two meeting this week and is worried about executive burn out
Michael Herfurt said nothing
Susie how lovely everyone looked and how she thought they’d lost a bit of weight
Fred explained how the roots of the Deadnettle and sitting under quartz cristals were very good for PMT.
Dud’s apologised about the video chip he had emailed with the girl, the dog a bottle of coke and a packet of vimtos.
At one point (John/Jules/Chris/Steve) had a big argument over the route and we back tracked a mile or two.
On return David had changed completely into (his casual wear/gardening cloths/pulling gear) as he had a hot date. Selwyn and Presso had drunk (1/2/3) pints on the kitty.
Talk among the girls focused mainly around how their men are still so (hot/fat/flatulent) and how they were really looking forward to a good (night/row/divorce).
We all disappeared into the night with Jerome and Selwyn left to tidy up the (glasses/nibbles/kitty)

Prince Albert, Frieth - 11th June 2008 - Selwyn's 'Diamond Geezer' evening

Run Report by Doug

Yes, our very own Spellbound reaches his diamond year and, accordingly, the Albert is our venue for this weeks run.

Whilst sure I may be missing someone (and with due apologies) I recall Kate, Amanda, Jools, Jerome, David, Brett, Michael, Presso, Stevie T, John, Rodders, Selwyn and myself as the running group. We were later joined, at various intervals, but with only one resounding gaffe, by Fred, Spider, Duds and Aude, Carters, Ollie and Jackie.

Based on subsequently mailed feedback, this would appear to have been one of the ‘Group’s’ most enjoyable evenings. The recipe for such pleasures is clear: 45 minute pleasant run, nothing too strenuous, followed by more beers than usual and a lift, stagger, cycle home. Let this be a lesson to those who would dare to juggle with the proven formula; the very basis on which our ‘spiritual leader’ instigated these jaunts all those years ago.

As ever, I really have little clue as to our route for the evening, but we went up a little and along a short while before one of the earliest fattie/fittie splits I can remember. We fatties then undertook a long downhill into Skirmett (yes, a landmark I recognised) before an equally long uphill, apparently “towards the convent”, flattening out for another while, then back down to our starting point. As we headed ‘homeward’, Jerome broke into the relevant Simon and Garfunkel number. A gift of great wonder, Jerome’s voice. For those of you who have not had the pleasure, he has agreed to run through his repertoire of S and G songs at Kate’s curry evening. Look out, in particular, for his remix of ‘Keep the Customer Satisfied’….

As we ran, David kindly shared his US Open bets and pointed out the futility of my own. As I suspected at the time, his rather more in-depth research would appear far more likely to bear fruit than the ‘hunches’ of Jerome and myself. ‘Twas always thus.

Fitties arrived back at much the same time and, given the outstanding pace we maintained in our group, really can’t have gone much further.

Selwyn very kindly bought the first round to celebrate the previous days milestone. I remember being amazed when Selwyn reached his fortieth (and slightly more amazed to be at my first ‘friend’s 40th party’ at the age of 27!), but, at 60, he continues to belie the years, continues to pound the footpaths, fields and lanes of South Bucks and continues to put away the Stellas with great aplomb. An inspiration in every way. Many happy returns Spellbound.

Brett did the honours of thanking Selwyn and presented him with a ‘go faster’ slinky top and a most unexpected card, which Fred had signed by then….

I made the mistake of getting the second round in. There must surely be some form of basic aptitude test in existence for bar staff/landlords etc. “One drink at a time……£2.90, £2.90, £2.90 (in fairness, when I ordered 6 bags of crisps, he did group them together as three lots of £1, rather than 6 x 50p) and, whilst £51 seemed a little on the steep side at the time, I would have paid double to be relieved of the responsibility – this chap will not be working in Dublin/Cork for some while yet…

Conversation slowly deteriorated to that old favourite of ‘porn names’ and though I have always been quite proud of my own ‘Dusty Wishart’, I certainly bow to Ollie’s alliterate ‘Shandy Smith’ (?). Duds lifted ill-fitting carvers, Jerome lifted tables with his lithe manoeuvres and our ‘spiritual leader’ watched over his flock regally, Stella in hand, at peace with the world and in love with everyone…

Next week’s run will be from the Golden Ball at West Wycombe. 7pm start.

Run Report Authors

The Dog & Badger, Medmenham - 4th June 2008

Run Report by Presso

This weeks run report is submitted by Lord Lucan, or at least it could have been, since he was as present as the author.
Apologies for lateness but at least I was there for the business end of the run ie a drink or two.
As all will know, the run from The Dog and Badger (actually now an Italian restaurant) starts with an uncomfortable uphill mile, enough to see off most, one of the reasons I was late, but not enough to deter a large turn out of the following: Brett, Doug, David, Duds, Fred, Steve (thanks again), Spider, Pete, Selwyn, Amanda, Jules, Susie, Kate, and Selwyn. Unfortunately, (not), I was a tad late and missed the start, therefore having to jog down the flat bit to Hambleden Mill and back, on my onio, and get a crafty one in before everyone else returned. Fortunately I was able to glean the salient details from others as they returned.
Unlike as is normal that the fitties split from the fatties, it would appear that there were several breaks in the run, with splits at the start of every hill after the first, aforementioned, climb. Let this be a lesson to all route planners that hills are controversial (nay, they are the devils work, put there to exhaust the God fearing...). Put none in the route and you are a GOD. Watch your followers deplete by each hill you insert.
I am reliably informed that, surprising as it may sound, some wild-life was spotted on this run, namely, a brace of rabbits and a deer.....!! Gosh.... not sure that has happened before but since I wasn't there I can only assume that these were amazing rabbits and that the deer was not an old dear, (actually, I was interested enough to qualify that point). Seriously though, I suspect the oily bread is the only thing that keeps this venue on the list.
So, as for the chat in the pub......Funnily enough I wasn't there for that either as I stayed out in the garden (where I could smoke if I wanted..not that I did very much... I think I may have had two) but I would have to say that I started out at the girls end of the table....SHOCK......HORROR.....GASP..... and I did thrash about like a proverbial........(fish out of water for those who didn't get that one) but my auld mucker, Rodders, then turned up having run there from Radnage. Good effort by anyones standards.
We had a very pleasant chat all round until the soft southerners had to disappear inside ( at about 9.00pm when the temperature dropped below 20 degrees) at which point, those tough enough, analysed, defined, and dispensed with depression. (Probably a topic brought on by the soft southerners....or was it Gordon the Moron...?)
Anyway, I'm now stressing as to whether I managed the prescribed number of words for a run report or whether I've bored the pants off everyone who actually ran, or what, really.... anyway..on to my journey home.
I went inside the pub (after those polite enough to stay outside with me had had enough and left swiftly from the car park) to find those, there, were also legging it as quickly as their weary legs would take them. Obviously, they all had Blueberries, and they had all been sent messages that I had not, that it was time for bed.......... During my drive home, I saw, two barn owls, three monkjack deer, six rabbits (two squashed, one in my rear view mirror) the 10 o' clock news, (only in a Mercedes) and two empty packets of Silk Cut... just to remind me to buy some more.
Next weeks run is from The Prince Albert in Freith, which will no doubt piss Selwyn off loads, as he will have no excuse to be late home (or is that just me.).
Presso

The Flowerpot, Aston, 28th May 2008

Run Report by David

….and so it somehow came to pass that 12 foolhardy souls gathered at The Flower Pot in cool, wet and generally unpleasant conditions. It is alleged that I was the last to arrive (hence my scribing now), but it was a close-run thing because, as I pulled into the Car Park at 6.55, I was carved up by three mud-spattered ninja-cyclists who, after much unsavoury scraping and hosing down, revealed themselves to be Rodders, Jules and an old friend of Jules called Simon.
Anyway, in the 10 minutes that it took for the aforementioned bikes to be dismantled and stowed, Rodders ate his supper, Duds deposited the contents of his sinuses over various parking bays (one of which unfortunately contained Selwyn’s bike) and the rest of us stood getting colder and wetter. We eventually set off in two groups. The main pack (comprising Amanda, Duds, Jules, Kate, Pete, Rodders, Simon, Spider and Susie set off on their 5.1 mile (plus a bonus loop for the fitties) hill-fest with Selwyn, under orders from his doc, riding behind. Meanwhile, market-gardener extraordinaire Presso and I trundled off down a relatively gradient-free road towards Henley. After last week’s sartorial statements (although in Brett’s case I’m not sure quite what he was trying to say), this week’s attire was decidedly subdued. The "highlight" was Selwyn’s shorts, which he plainly inherited from Eric Morecambe.
Apparently at some stage Selwyn separated from the peloton and went to find, I think he said, Crocker’s End whilst Pete, concerned that the main group was still running away from the pub after 25 minutes, decided to turn back. Presso and I, with a disciplined regime of running for 10 minutes and then walking for 2, eventually arrived in Henley before heading for home along the towpath. At some stage in the middle of nowhere we bumped into a bloke called Dom (a mate of Presso and Baz, apparently), an encounter which provided a couple of minutes welcome respite and chat.
Pete was first back to the pub with the rest of us arriving in various states of saturated dishevelment over the next 25 minutes. The beer was reasonable, the snacks were plentiful and for once the service at The Flower Pot was half-decent (and the very pleasant barmaid was rather more than half decent). Having been obliged to leave first, I am not the best person to comment on the sparkling conversation and repartee, so I’ll let others provide those details.
Kate very kindly offered to organise next week’s run around the grounds of Cliveden, but since it would require us all to wear Burnham Joggers’ vests, it is actually going to be from The Dog and Badger at Medmenham!
David

Jules & Amandas' 21st May 2008

Run Report by Selwyn


Steve T is threatening to publish league tables of how many run reports we have each done, so watch out everyone. Apparently my record is not good, so hence my (somewhat reluctant) acceptance of the invitation to write this week’s report. Yes it’s late, but at least it should be a little more descriptive than Rodders’ recent effort. Jules has suggested that we should all attempt 100 words minimum, by the way.

Amanda & Jules very kindly invited us to run from their place at the earlier than usual start of 7.45 pm in order that we could return for drinks & eats while settling down to watch the Champions League Final.

Runners had been invited to wear colours showing their allegiance to the finalists. To a certain extent this was complied with, but for some (notably Brett), this resulted in some very strange attire.

Brett wore a very fetching blue cropped top, exposing his midriff in a very unseemly manner. As far as we could see he did not have the diamond stud in his navel – just the normal blue fluff.

Doug wore an attractive little number in blue and yellow polyester and confessed that as a result he had taken the precautionary measure of Vaselining his nipples.

Steve T and myself wore red, David (I think) wore yellow & black (obviously a Wolves supporter) and the remainder (Duds, Kate, Jerome, Susie & Chris) wore various shades of grey, presumably to demonstrate their ambivalence to, or probably more likely total disinterest in either team.

A beautiful evening for a run, the route was the normal one from Amanda & Jules, ie down a steep incline to Bennett End at the start, up a long drawn out gradual climb to the west, through Crowell Wood at the top and back down a track to return to Bennett End. David & I opted to walk up that steep incline home and of course the extra loop fitties had caught us up by the time we reached the field at the top.

Amanda was there to greet us on our return, perfectly timed for the start of the match. Spider joined us, together with various young offspring already in attendance.

At half time, Amanda treated us to a magnificent (and healthy) spread of lasagne & salad. Various attendees made their exits at various times and the rest, as they say, is history.

Many thanks to Amanda & Jules for their generous hospitality.

Venue for the next run (tomorrow) is to be the Flower Pot PH at Aston. To get there by car, turn north off the A4130 Maidenhead to Henley road, or you can get to it across the Thames (by bike or on foot) from Mill End on the A4155 Marlow to Henley road. I will maybe devise a different route to the one we have done previously, if you like.

Five Horseshoes, Maidensgrove - 14th May 2008

Run Report by Jerome

The Five Horsehoes at Maidensgrove on a beautiful summer’s evening was the venue for this week’s run and a fine setting indeed.
Attending were Jules, Chris, Amanda, Susie, Spider, Duds, Steve, Selwyn, David, Kate, Presso, myself and a new runner named Pete Robinson who obviously has been sailing around the world and forgot to stop the first time round. I thought he looked reasonably fit but someone else (can’t remember who) thought a few pounds had found their way on to his midriff. The highlight of the attire was the Roddicks skin tight tops. No prizes for guessing who looked better in theirs.
Fortunately we set off down the steepest hill on the running circuit, so steep that if there was a fresh dump of snow on it the avalanche risk would be 5 on the avalancheometer.
The first two miles was very up and down to the extent that at the first opportunity David, Presso Pete and Selwyn found the alternative route home. The rest of us continued to run into the distance with one person particularly wondering whether he had made a mistake.
However despite some nervous (I’m not sure where we are) looks from Jules the map reader we ran through some lovely woods with fast conditions before coming across a pretty pond with the sun shining just behind – this made it all worthwhile…..NOT!
Shortly after this Kate who had not been running with her usual smoothness, indeed she looked like she had a weight on her shoulders, had to stop. It turned out that the weight wasn’t in her shoulders but elsewhere and it needed to be offloaded.
Obviously this wasn’t clear to the runners until the time elapsed made it clear that this wasn’t the usual stop. Indeed as we looked back a couple of cows started to get a little fruity and we wondered whether they had seen something. Somehow these cows turned out to be Rhodesian Ridgebacks or so Presso and Rodders were discussing afterwards. Somehow I missed the point of this bit and would ask that this is clarified by return.
We finished with the steepest hill on the running circuit and it was disappointing to see that a chairlift hadn’t been installed in anticipation of the snow. For those who ran up it respect and for those who walked respect too.
The pub was hospitable and quiet – yet another sign of the deepening economic crisis in the UK. Steve & Jules started discussing Nintendo Wii’s and at that point a few of us started discussing the commercial opportunities of X rated Wii’s that you can somehow gain sexual satisfaction from. If Jules and Steve think this has potential then please call me.
David disappeared after a drink to dinner somewhere – is there something going on?
At this point and as I moved on to another pint of Krone my memory starts to fade.
That’s pretty much it other than to say thankyou to all who sponsored fred for her walk this weekend and that next week we are running from Jules and Amanda’s house starting at 6.45 in order to watch the Champion League Final. Someone said that we had to wear Blue or Red for the run but frankly the final is a farce because the team that should be there (Arsenal if you don’t know) got knocked out due to a bent referee paid off by the two finalists.
I assume that the hosts would like confirmation of attendees as soon as possible in order to prepare for the onslaught of us Glasgow Rangers fans.
Until next week………………………….Jerome
PS: Sorry Kate

Stag & Huntsman, Hambleden 7th May 2008

Run Report by Steve

On a beautifully sunny evening a the group of us met in the car park of the Stag and Huntsman in Hambleden. Those present were Brett, John, Jerome, Doug, Presso, Chris, Kate, Jules, Amanda, David, Selwyn, (a very slim) Spider and I.

This was a new run created by Selwyn, who – let’s face it - probably has the best sense of direction of any of us and so it was no surprise it all went off without a hitch.

The first part of the run consisted of a game of chicken, running the gauntlet of 200 metres of nettles as we traversed uphill along a narrow footpath, past Kenricks.

After the severe climb, (which was welcomed warmly by all), we continued to the top of the ridge across open fields. By then the wind had picked up a bit and made running conditions just about perfect.

At one point Jules did actually mis-judge the wind slightly and I got a bit of a face full, but he assures me it was an accident. Oh yes, and Amanda had a bit of a nearly-fall (again) but recovered well.

The highlight of the trip was the promised Teletubby House, complete with a grass roof. Apparently, it has an interior floor area of 1000 square metres - lots of room for Po to play with La-la’s Tinky-Winky or whatever.

A little further on Presso, Brett and David discretely avoided the extra loop by hanging back a bit then scarpering when no-one was looking. The rest of us carried on, finishing in around an hour. On the Garmin that Santa brought me for Christmas I made it 5.14 miles.

The beer garden proved a most welcome end to the evening, complete with having their outside bar open – always think that’s a nice touch. The group separated into the main table and the “grumpy old men” table (Kate’s words, not mine). For a local boy I thought that Jerome headed off sooner than expected and the depleted numbers consolidated onto the main table.

Interestingly enough, we all unanimously agreed on the venue for the run after next, but not on the one next week. The run after next (21st) is the Champions League final so we will be making our traditional footy-based excursion to Jules and Amanda’s house. As it is a (Mighty) Man U vs. Chelski final all runners are encouraged to wear either red or blue kit on the run depending on peoples team allegiances or wardrobe contents. Appropriate hats, scarves, klaxons, trumpets, drums etc. are also welcome.

After much cogitation, I am opting for next weeks run (14th) to be from the Five Horseshoes in Maidensgrove. A bit of a trek to get there - but a lovely run.

Cheese.

Steve.

The Jolly Farmer, Cookham Dean - 30th April 2008

Run Report by Brett

I cant believe that I actually enjoyed the outing last night, given that
it was more than a little reminiscent of the worst of school cross
country runs. Running for almost an hour in sodden conditions at the
back of the pack with Captain of rugby Jerome 'German' Bartlett stomping
through puddles and splashing water and mud over all.
No school uniform last night but lots of clingy lycra and luminous togs.
I made a reappearance as the 1970's German goalkeeper Sepp Maier, JB
came straight from his cone placing duty on the M40 and Presso having
run five miles and supped three pints of 'Braks' was straight off to the
Little Milton floodlit bobsleighing championships....... Without his
helmet. Now that's what I call a Triathlete.
Rodders showed his sensitive side by hanging around the back markers and
chatting in his esay way as Doug heaped praise on the continental
refering of the previous nights Man U/Barca encounter. Selwyn who
everyone knows is Keith Hacketts right hand man had his blackbook in
hand taking copious and quite soggy notes. Mrs Riv. came out of
retirement despite the rain)and gave her mended ankle a good work out.
The state of her running shoes this morning means that last nights
adventure is going to cost me a new pair of diamante gym shoes.
Steve 'blogger' Taylor was threatening to pull the blog site, I think
through lack of contribution from other runners,(but I might have got
that wrong). I feel it has been a great success and wouldn't want to see
it go. Fred suggested that perhaps we could add weekly photos and
thankfully is prepared to bring along her box brownie next week.
The Jolly Farmer at Cookham Dean was quiet when we departed on the run
and heaving when we returned, so we went downhill to the more basic
Uncle Toms Cabin. Jules cleverly used the term 'earthy' in describing
the pub, as we dragged clumps of mud across the already filthy floor.
Did anyone have a thick head this morning?. David 'if I was born to
drink lager rather than ale my surname would be Heineken' Abbott,
announced he suffers from a headache when he drinks Brakspears. This is
strange 'cos Presso was telling me that his permanent migraine subsides
as soon as he starts drinking.
It didn't take long to move onto this years pet subject -the content of
Duds sent items. I must say that I find them reassuringly offensive and
was intrigued to note that Amanda can get the up to date football scores
and Duds latest offerings in split screen stylee on that funny techno
thing she had last night.
Lastly and to regognise those who I didn't overhear or chat to, I would
like to thank Richard for going drinking with me on Sunday and Kate for
giving me a lift home and for nominating her daughter to sit for us.
Meanwhile at the end of the evening Susie sat firmly on Chris's lap, I
assume on account of the inadequate seating or was it just to prevent
him from undertaking that final quick loop around the car pub
park......have I forgotten anyone?
See you next week at The Stag & Huntsman.

Hughenden - 23rd April 2008 - Run 4

Run Report by Kate

It was in the lovely evening sunshine we set off with ‘excitement’ up hill from the Hughenden car park, unfortunately ‘excitement’ abandoned us half way up the hill (she had obviously had enough) and we all arrive breathing heavily and sweating at the top! (Well some of us!) Numbers this week were good, ‘virgin’ runners for the 2008 season included Presso, Spider and Richard, welcome back gentlemen, and they were joined by Brett, Jerome, Jules, John, Duds, David, Selwyn, Amanda, Susie (no Chris), Doug and myself.
Once the hill had been negotiated and we had regrouped, we set off into the woods, a certain amount of ‘catching up’ was taking place amongst the back runners. Brett mentioned his gout, the reason for his absence the last couple of weeks, to which Susie sympathized and said her father got that too! (Is there a comparison?) She then went on the ask David about his sheltered housing!
Lots of up and downs, some in woods some not, the back runners continued with their ‘male bonding session’ at one point splitting from the main group entirely only to have us find them later and gleefully overtake them! 40 mins and we were back into the car park, good pace, but quite a short one.(Enjoy boys, it will not always be that short!)
Once watered we retired to the Harrow, why is that pub always empty? Could it be the smiling face behind the bar? Usual high spirits and banter ensued, topics of conversation included Freddy and Oliver winning the Rugby tournament in Belgium, well done boys and a special congratulations to Chris who coaches the team! Susie,
Amanda and I set about trying the remember as many terms for gay people as possible, apparently, according to Brett, ‘bum bandit’ is very 80’s, (How does he know?) ‘pillow hugger’ is actually ‘pillow biter’ and I have at last learnt the meaning of the phrase ‘uphill gardening’. We were all very impressed with Doug, he bravely sat between Susie and Amanda and engaged them in conversation, please note that from now on each male runner will be expected to do this on a rotational basis, husbands are excluded, as they can talk to you at home! (Rotational does not mean every week, John!)
No chips this week, just numerous packets of crisp, peanuts, twiglets, mini cheddars and pork scratching, I can’t help thinking that despite my comments last week chips might have been healthier? No spoofing for the report this week, thank god!
Next week, the Jolly Farmer at Cookham Dean, 7pm. If I remember last year we finished by running through the bottom of the pub garden, perfect run!

Chequers, Fingest - 16th April 2008 - Run 3

Run Report by Jules

For the third run of the season we all set out from The Chequers at 6:45 sharp. The main group included David, Selwyn, Michael, Fred (and Lulu the Lab), Susi, Amanda, Kate, John, Steve, Chris and Myself (spoof looser). Heather also set off with us - but on a brisk walk!
Chris had planned a reasonably short route as the weather was cold and the general consensus is for shorter runs as we all get our fitness levels up. This involved passing through the centre of Turville and then past the Frog in Skirmett before climbing into Adams Wood (which was traversed at a tangent!). Here we split as the main group headed back downhill directly to the Pub and Chris, Jules, Kate and I took a slightly longer route back (about 5 minutes extra). For the majority the run was about 45 minutes and proved very enjoyable!
Refreshments included a couple of bowls of chips - against Kate’s better judgement as she announced that ordering Chips was the thin edge of the wedge as we would soon be ordering meals and, before long, she could see us giving up on the running and becoming a Wednesday Supper Club!! – NOT IN THIS DECADE KATE!! Conversation included the state of the housing market and "pond life" in Dewsbury.
Having decided for the previous couple of weeks that the Run Report would go to the last person to arrive in the Car Park the rules were unceremoniously amended when it emerged that Fred had not joined us in the Pub – so we would "Spoof" for it. The results of that game will not have escaped your notice!!

Next week (tomorrow) we are running from the Church Car Park at Hughenden manor – 7:00 start should be possible if it is not overcast.

The Peacock, Bolter End - 9th April 2007

Run Report by Chris

Very Sorry about the lateness of the report.
If you can’t be bothered to read it we meet at "The Chequers!" at Fingist to start running at 6.45.

Last week we ran from The Peacock and ran, not that many came and we had chips!

The Royal Oak, Bovingdon Green 2nd April 2008

Run Report By Duds

There was a sizeable turn-out for the first run of the 2008 Wednesday running season from the Royal Oak in Bovingdon Green. Steve was late and so ran on his own but the rest of us (Chris-la, Susie-la, Jules-la, Amanda-la, Fred-la, John-la, Selwyn-la, David-la, Doug-la, Rob-la and Stella-laaaaaaaa, Michael-la, Brett-la and I-la) left the car park at high speed to set out on a fun-filled stroll through the Bucks countryside. Having been reliably informed in the car on the way to the pub that the residents of Bucks have the greatest longevity in the UK made me feel just that little bit more sprightly......

As usual there was a fair amount of chat on the way round (not just from me) but apart from that there really was very little to get excited about (apart, maybe, from Doug exposing himself to a hedge and Rodders having nearly been mounted by a galloping horse after Stella had whipped it into a frenzy). The usual three groups of supremely fit/fast, very fit/fast and pretty fit/fast held each others hands for most of the circuit and we all arrived back after around 50 minutes in good health and looking forward to a drink and a packet of Porkies. Jerome's clean-shaven appearance in a suit also lifted our spirits.

Once we were in the pub I can only assume/hope that the minimal offering of crisps and the aforementioned Porkies with each round was due to the usual inflated pricing at the Royal Oak rather than any of the round-buyers thinking that we were all a little bit overweight after a winter of relative inactivity.

It was good to see a lot of familiar faces on the run and hopefully our number will be improved in future weeks with the re-appearance of Kate-la, Ricky-la, Heather-la, Spider-la and anyone else I have momentarily forgotten to mention.
We will be running from The Peacock at Bolter End (or is it Wheeler End common) next Wednesday 9th April at 6:45 pm. See you all then.

Ciao,
Duds-la.

E&OE (this is for Susie !!).

The Start of the 2008 Season

Ladies and Gentlemen

As the clocks go forward at the weekend. its that time of the year when we say goodbye to this....

...and hello to this

May I suggest the first run of the season from The Royal Oak at Bovingdon Green on Wednesday 2nd April. Start time 6:45pm.

Cheers.

Steve.

The Red Lion, Bradenham - 19th September 2007

Run Report by Kate

On a rather windy, dark evening, Jerome, Chris, Steve, Amanda, Jules, David and myself, met at the Red Lion Bradenham for a 6.45pm start. It had been rumoured that Brett might grace us with his presence, but it was not to be seemingly he had forgotten his kit !! Poor excuse !
We set out in earnest eager to get the dark bit done before it too dark. This we managed to achieve to a large extent, although Amanda did fall at one point (hope the hand is ok?). On coming out of the wood into open ground, Jerome, Amanda, David and me decided to run for home. David was for a while on the lead but we managed to catch him. 35 mins saw us back at the pub with Jules, Chris and Steve following shortly afterwards.
The Red Lion has changed a bit, carpet in the bar and it certainly smells better, but not for long after we had been in there! Talk at the pub was mainly about Gullane and what a great time the boys had had last weekend. No ‘tales out of school were told’ quite frankly I think they are all getting a bit old and slow. David mentioned some interesting guests he has coming to dinner next week, the words bondage and surgical gowns spring to mind, best ask him.
Talking of next week, this will be the last run of the season, the plan is to meet 6.45pm at the Spade Oak, Well End, Bourne End, quick 35 – 45 mins on open land, followed by drink in pub and curry at the Last Viceroy in Bourne End.

The Frog, Skirmett. 12th September 2007 (Run 24)

Run Report by Amanda & Jules

Well - we can tell that it is getting near the final run as the numbers are decreasing week by week. Various excuses were made for not turning up and many were Gullane related. Chris had set an earlier start time so that we did not have to run back in the dark but unfortunately that message had not got through to Fred (whose pc has blown up or something) who was our run leader.

Fred rocketed into the Frog car park at 6.59pm with Hollie and Lulu (the dog) and Chris, Presso, Fred, Hollie Jules and I set off promptly to complete the route set for us by Fred. The sun was shining and we started off with a very long hill. At the top we decided to head towards Turville rather than the Brewery. At Turville, we travelled back down Chequers Lane and then back to the pub via some very nice open footpaths. We arrived back at the pub after 45 minutes in very pleasant countryside, perfect weather a gorgeous sunset. What more could we ask for? The small (but perfectly formed) gathering adjourned to the bar - minus Holly who was wisked away by Jerome who was on homework duty!

We had every intention of knocking backs loads of beers with the large sum that has accumulated in the kitty but sadly Chris had forgotten to bring it. In the pub we were joined by Kate who looked stunning in a little black number.

It was decided that we could make two more runs this season provided that we set off promptly at 6.45pm as it is now dark by 7.45. Next week’s run will be from the Red Lion at Bradenham unless Jules, who is checking out the pub, decides that it is not up to the Wednesday runners’ standards and in which case a different venue will be posted on the blog. The following week will be the last run (the 26th) from the Bounty (by the river in Bourne End) and the Viceroy for afters. See you all on Wednesday for 6:45.

Amanda and Jules

The Flower Pot, Aston. 5th September 2007 (Run 23)

Run Report by Prof. C Roddick

To save time and to speed the process up I will refer to the Flower Pot as run A and Dashwood Arms as B The Attendees for the Runs will be referred to as A runners and B runners respectively.

So.........

We met at A in the rain and B in the sun A runners were cross (as I'd kept them waiting) Jules took a photo of David an AB runner getting out of his car with an umbrella!
Both A and B started up hill, and finished just by the pub There were other similarities: on run B as we neared the end we encountered a Dead Sheep, on run A we met Jerome.

Run B did get lost looking for a footpath which involved climbing our way up an overgrown bank (my fault! sorry) Run A did not get lost but did get stung and Susie fell over! (ouch!)

Jerome must be classed as a C runner as he came on a bike!

On run A all the "run B runners" were present, probably!

(except Selwyn.)
B runners included: Kate, Fred, Susie, Amanda, Jules, Duds, David, Aude and me.

I can't remember all the A runners however, this may help:
Jules was late for run A but early for run B Kate was in front of Susie but behind Duds Duds beat David in run A but was not there for run B Fred only ran run A

From the statements above can you work out:
1. Who finished third in run A?
2. Why Jerome came on a bike! and Fred had a Dog?

See you tonight!

Chris Roddick

The Brickmakers Arms, 29th August 2007

Run Report by Steve

Now then.

After a last minute round of frantic voting on this weeks venue (not sure when democracy had been adopted in this respect) the team assembled in the large car park to the rear of The Brickmakers (not Bricklayers, Kate).

The weather was pleasantly sunny with just a hint of autumnal chill in the air - ideal for running. Indeed the weather was good enough for Brett to arrive, sporting a lovely Nike top that was admired by Aude in a very Frenchly sarcastic way. Brett and Aude were joined by Richard, Amanda, Presso, Jules, Kate and myself. Jules joined us on foot, running from all the way from round the corner where Amanda had (presumably) dropped him off.

We set off and headed down a lovely descent across open fields and took on the first ascent of the day through the woods. After about 20 minutes Presso and Brett headed off on a mission to ensure that the Brickmakers really did serve Brakespears and to take a tour past an old haunt of Jerome's (ho hum).

The rest of the party carried on through the woods that led past the unnervingly smiley people at the Wycliffe centre. Amanda by this point was doing the "are we there yet dad, how long to go, how many hills left" routine. I assured her the run would be no longer than 50 minutes. Amanda looked thoroughly disbelieving.

After a run of precisely 50 minutes we arrived back at the pub. In all, a very pleasant run.

After having moved tables to a window location due to limited lighting in the pub, we settled down for drinks and crisps.

Assorted snippets/gossip included - Audes plan to set up a restaurant; the pros and cons of having a foreign holiday home; sordid tales of dodgy barristors s****ing their clients; the venue for the Christmas Dinner (probably Grouse & Ale); the venue for the last run of the season (Viceroy or somewehere else); how fit and slim Richard was looking; how long it took for Aude to succumb to Duds' charms; whether 45 minutes really was too long for Brett (Kate); and end-terraces in Cookham Dean that cost £1.6m.

Next weeks run will be a (shortened) one from The Flowerpot at Aston. Yes-I know, I know-but the run from there is in the open and flattish and Jules has promised to plan a good route.

Love.

Mr T.

Wednesday August 29th 2007

Run will be from the Brickmakers Arms, Wheeler End. 7pm start.

Chequers, Fingest, 22nd August 2007

Run Report by Jerome

Why I came to be writing this report will become clear later.
In the meantime Jules, Amanda, Kate, David, Mark, Aude, Steve, John and myself set off promptly at 7pm. Brett pulled out at the eleventh hour making some reference to rain. Rain in August………really!!
Blustery conditions meant the going was tough for those with the greatest surface area and not surprisingly the immediate uphill from The Chequers quickly sorted out the F’s from the F’s. In fact the first 20 minutes was pretty much uphill until the two F’s split.
It seems incredible that when it comes to the F’s taking the short route home how many of the other F’s become F’s. The route home was pretty boggy as you’d expect when it’s been chucking it for 4 months but the two runs took about 45 and 50 minutes respectively. This equates to 4 miles and 8 miles I think.
Once in the comfort of the bar excitement rose as the kitty bulged to over £120. Early rounds of crisps and scratching were quickly replaced by 5 portions of chips. Steve "Vinegar" Taylor quickly made most of them inedible until the Mayo arrived. A main course of steak was contemplated but quickly dispelled for a round of large beers, wine and g & t’s. Brett – you’d have loved it and to Chris and Susie our heartfelt apologies on your absence.
Conversations meandered from England playing Germany (only Amanda was interested) to the antics of Jackass the Movie (well worth a watch). However most interestingly we decided that our run should now consist of a "Bring a Celebrity" so please give serious consideration to who you will invite.
Discussions then started to take place about next week’s venue with Aude most vociferous ""oh merde" she gasped"" about getting out of the Hambleden Valley. She wants to run from Little Marlow. Before a decision could be made some bright spark decided we should spoof for it.
Aah I thought as I declared that I was unbeaten at spoof. Out went John , David, Steve, Amanda and Jules leaving me and Kate to fight it out. Somehow I came out last and thus the report. However in mitigation Mar kand Aude did not participate as they cannot attend next week. Nor can I and therefore in reality consider myself still unbeaten.
Personally I thought it a very appropriate way of allocating the reporting duties.. So a good start for me…..last at running, last at spoof. Good luck next week.
With that in mind the pub venue for next week is the Anchor in Falmouth where I will be. If you don’t think that you can make it then The Red Cow at Wooburn Green is my suggestion for a new venue. Up to you guys to fight it out.
Night night………….mind the dogs don’t bite.
Jerome

Dashwood Arms, 15th August 2007

Mr Roddicks report will follow in due course.....

Lovely.

August 15th 2007

Run will be from The Dashwood Arms, Piddington

The Ship, Cadmore End - 8th August 2007. No. 19

Run Report by Presso

Before I totally forget next weeks run is from Duds and Aude's house in Beacons Bottom, normal time etc. bring booze if you think you might be thirsty and waterproofs if you believe the weather forecast.

The following were in attendance, apologies if I've missed anybody off. The omnipresent Jules, Amanda, Rodders, Suzie, and Kate along with, Brett, Michael, Ricky, David, Duds, Aude, me and a running virgin who I wasn't introduced to so apologies if I got your name wrong Cherie. Quite a big turn out if recent reports are anything to go by.

Those early enough, both me and Ricky, managed to park next to the large Czech, people carrier, I mean articulated lorry, that was still there from a recent delivery of fellow Europeans, much needed by our labour shortage, and acres of free space crying out for occupiers. Other runners parked precariously on the side of that busy thoroughfare where there appears to be no speed limit. Customers for the pub chose another drinking venue where they could leave their vehicles, at least within, walking distance.

For the first time in living memory the run started with a steady downhill section all the way into the Hambleden Valley to Fingest, which made us fatties feel a whole lot better, but as we progresed through and onto Turville Lane us fatties were perturded to hear whispers of the dreaded R word. At the top end of Turville Lane Compo, Foggy and Clegg made a tactical withdrawal and decided to head back, knowing that there were at least two steep hills and that was plenty.

It was an evening of immense beauty, and running conditions unsurpassed in recent years. Sunny and bright though not with the associated intense heat or humidity, the kind of evening that could only, realistically, be appreciated by admiring Gods gifts.

It is anybodies guess what happened to the intrepid fitties who ventured off towards the Rollercoaster, but Compo Foggy and Clegg were happy in the knowledge that "anybodies guess" wouldn't happen to them. They ambled back through Fingest and down a small lane before finding the footpath that headed towards the pub. At said footpath they came across a sheep stuck on a stile and mustered all their combined "countryman" experience to scare said sheep off the stile. This had more to do with Compo seeking out his wellies than anything else.The long, meandering stroll up the perfect grassy incline, prompted appreciated murmerings of the view and a philosophical debate about whether a lovely house at the top of a hill would command a greater price than a lovely house in the valley. A herd of red deer were observed and admired in the woods on top of the hill, particularly the well endowed stag (his antlers of course) looking after his girls.

Back at the pub we were all greeted by the new landlady who had been there a week and had not a single nibble. All those there will know why.

Duds and Audes next week and there is no way from their house we can start downhill.

Compo.

Three Horseshoes, 1st August 2007 (no. 18)

Run report by John

The Three Horseshoes welcomed an improved turnout of me, Kate, David, Jules, Amanda, Susie, Chris and Fred on a balmy evening. Not having been running for a few weeks I did not realise runners can now turn up 15 minutes late and still have everyone waiting in the car park for them. I might try that next time and see what happens. To be fair to Fred she did call ahead and make some vague excuse about getting lost. Lets face it - she didn't leave the house early enough.

The run was bloody awful particularly the first half where we spent most of the time concentrating on not braking an ankle or avoiding 4 foot high corn (or was it maize, oats, barley..........yes the discussion was had in addition to global warming issues). Rodders quite rightly thought we should looking after the planet better but omitted to mention the number of foreign trips he makes each year and the occasional jaunt out to Ireland for the odd weekend.

Back to the run - the second half improved considerably but by this time David and Fred had had enough and Susie joined them in sympathy and decided to take an early shower (so to speak).

The rest completed the run more or less together and retired to the wonder of the pub garden where sewers seemed to have caught the attention of the aforementioned early runners which mean't that we got stuck with a table with a big pole in the middle of it away from the odours. This mean't I couldn't see Amanda, David couldn't see Fred, Jules couldn't see Chris and Kate couldn't see Susie (I would have moved if I'd been Kate - no offence Amanda). I felt as a result that the conversation whilst interesting and amusing was not perhaps as fluid as it might have been. Sorry havn't got time to remember content.

Great efforts were made by all attendees to finish the kitty in addition to small packets of nuts that cost £2.50. Much to my disappointment the stella was off and the light rebellion was cloudy (2 pints returned with a smile of course).
I'm now off to the K club where the forecast looks dire (what did I expect of Ireland???) and the run next week will be from The Ship, Cadmore End.

Golden Ball / George & Dragon - 25th July 2007

Run Report by Kate

I’m afraid this week we are back to good old English, Aude and Susie are a hard act to follow! Although you could if you wanted read the report below in a Devonshire accent, just a thought?

I think last night was the smallest ‘turn out’ I ever encountered in all the years I have run with the group. 7pm, alone in the windy blustery car park of the Golden Ball, I was consoling myself that I was possibly going to have a lucky escape and I would very shortly be able to further nurse the hangover I had suffered from all day following the highly competitive quiz night at the Prince of Wales, the previous evening. We should have realized how the evening would deteriorate when the first anagrams arrived and we all simultaneously took our glasses out! Alas, a sign of the times! However I did learn one thing, my ability to write and spell diminishes with every drink that I have, much to the annoyance of others. Although we didn’t win we at least didn’t come last and managed to beat the other ‘Andrew Milsom’ team.

Back to the run, with the keys almost in the ignition, Steve seemed to appear from nowhere and my escape was thwarted! Therefore with no map and a vague idea where we were going Steve and I set out, unaware at this stage we had narrowly missed Chris who had run from Radnage. Upon his arrival at the car park, he had seen Steve and I disappearing across the field and then spent the next 10 minutes trying to catch us up. Once regrouped we set off again. Quite a fast run, we arrived back at the car park after 45 mins, whereupon we made a rapid departure for the George & Dragon. Needless to say we sat inside the pub. Conversation was quite diverse, comments about how nice pubs are now people can’t smoke in them, 11+ and Grammar Schools, ‘Asymmetrical warfare', ‘Slackerdemics’, tax evasion and whose round is it?

Next week, 7pm the Three Horseshoes, Bennett End, we may have done this already so apologies if that is the case but neither of us were sure.
See you ALL there!!
Kate

Chequers, Wheeler End, 18th July 2007

Run Report by Susie


Enschuldigung Sie Bitte a very spät run report.....von ze Kraut.
A very kleine aber very exklusive Gruppe ran von ze Chequers last week. Jerome, Aude, Mark, David, Kate,Jules Chris and ze Kraut. It vos eine von der langsamest runs of ze season I zink everyvon needs a holidays! Ze only zing keeping us going was the zought of ze Bier.
I don’t remember much about ze run but I do remember ze scenery vos wunderbar and all agreed it vos a run to repeat in ze future.
Vee had a few discussions viz ze landlord about his ‘off’ beer but he vos most agreeable (obviously not a German) and zings ver put right. Ze average calorie intake at the table voz 346 due to an abundance of schwein scratchings and crisps resulting an overall weight gain for ze group of 22 kgs ( not sure vot zat is in ze English pounds) Luckily zis vos balanced by Kate’s weight loss she is looking really wunderbar !
Next veek vee run von ze George and Dragon, Vest Vickham, 19.00.
Aufwiedersehen!
Ze Kraut

Run - 18th July 2007

Run will be from Chequers at Wheeler End. 7pm start.

Stag et Huntshomme, Hambleden, 11 Juillet 2007

Run Report by Aude

Runners on 11.07.07: Bartletts (J, F, H, Lulu), Steve, Cel, Kate, Doug, Hucks, Roddicks, Aude.
Pour les anglo-french, voici la petite histoire: nous avons crossed un field de merde de vache, puis dans la pretty forêt . Ensuite, Nous êtions attacked par des grosses flies de cheval. Puta de Madre!!!(Fille de pute)…. Lulu, la future amie de Stella, tried to montrer la bonne route… Jerome montre son style "wet t-shirt" après only 10 secondes , parce qu’il faisait super scorchio! Une nouvelle gazelle dans l’équipe, Holly montre élégance et naturel which of course is not acceptable après 20 ans. Suddenly, nous rencontrons 2 gay boys dans les bois……Mais non!!!!!! C’est Jules & Chris !!!: excusez, j’ai une grosse mouche dans 1 eye……could not see very well. And all became a blurrrrr…. 1 group est parti au pub (very wise), 1 autre est parti dans la jungle parce que c’est officiel: les hommes can’t lire les maps.
La conversation au pub took a turn quand du mot Shank, tank, plank, wank… Ououopppps….. Tom Bartlett (12 ans) (que nous avions forgotten being there) decided that adults are a bunch of idiots, est parti tres rapidement…….Bravo les parents! Biensur mon mari me manque mais ce n’est pas grave car je me suis bien laughed!!!!
La semaine prochaine: tba….
Translation of the report for those less in tune with linguistic matière grise: Ace Run.

Hare & Hounds, Marlow, 4th July 2007

Run Report by Jerome

A hardy 10 souls, namely Jules, Amanda, Chris, Susie, David, Duds, Aude, Ricky, Steve & myself met at The Hare & Hounds on an overcast but dry evening.
Once the route was determined with a slight modification to ensure that we continue "the new element" of each run we set off up Happy Valley turning left to go through the Foley pad. A short but steep hill quickly sorted the Fitties from the Fatties.
Into Marlow Common and down to join up with one of our usual paths through the woods rather than along a path then saw David take the early cut off back towards Marlow much to my disappointment.
We then incurred 10 minutes of farce while our path was blocked by nettles and the fence that had to be climbed was protected by some rather nasty rusty barbed wire. Having overcome that Amanda who was stressing how she felt unsafe when running downhill proceeded to go down like a sack of s**t running up a gentle slope. The thud as she hit the ground reverberated around the woods meant that Duds and myself were somewhat concerned about the potential for injury (well not too concerned). Having brushed herself down we all continued to be met by windfall trees blocking our path. A good photo opportunity materialized before we continued on the final run for home. The really Fitties split for something more taxing before the rest led by Aude arrived back at the pub after an hour.
Once in the pub a pleasant evening followed. A rugby photo and a particular unidentified player took up a great deal of the first 30 minutes before Steve used his Blackberry to help resolve the answer although some doubt still exists as to whether it was Mark Regan.
After 40 minutes we were all getting a little concerned that Rodders was still not back so Amanda and myself set off to search for him getting as far as the car park before Chris materialized as did his wife Susie who had gone home to change as she was going for a night out in Frogmoor. The flickknife had been carefully packed in her handbag.
Back in the pub the craving for Scratchings was not satisfied as they only had Plain and S & V, frankly not good enough to stay on our run rota.
There were one or two other interesting conversations which I have now forgotten and as you will by now have had enough of my script I will leave you in peace.
Next week’s run, not my suggestion, is The Stag and Huntsman in Hambleden when I will have a suitable run arranged. Have a good weekend all.
Jerome

The Prince Albert, Frieth, 27th June 2007

Run Report by David

So, he's heard the need for change has he?

Not the most promising of starts, grammatically speaking, by the latest leader of the Scottish Raj that runs the country. Unless, of course, it was an oblique reference to the rattle of loose change, which is about all we've got left after 10 years of his stealth taxes and pension fund raids.

Sorry to start this report in such a gnarly fashion, but Brown's slack-jawed droning was the last thing I needed this morning after an arduous run and some dodgy beer from The Albert. Anyway, the report.

Amanda, Fred, Aude, Jules, Steve, Duds, Rodders and I met in decidedly damp conditions and set off uphill (when was it any different) As usual, I have no idea where we went, concentrating as I was on trying not to fall too far behind the aforementioned fitties. Apart from a brief conversation with Duds, not often those words appear in that order, during which he proclaimed that he was feeling like cack and Fred expressing concern about VPL (whatever that is). I can't remember too much about the first part of the run. Duds wish was soon granted though, as we made our way through a field containing several cows, a solitary bull and endless piles of the stuff that accompanies them. After a comfort break for Amanda, which was as welcome to me as to her, we ran down a long narrow path which had thoughtfully reinvented itself as a waterfall for the evening, ending up in another lane in the middle of I don't know where.

After wading one small lake at a junction, the fitties set off in the direction of Skirmett whilst I, map in hand, struck for home. No doubt some blogger will fill in the details of what happened to them, but my route back started with a near vertical half mile climb up another waterfall followed by another half mile hack through nettle-infested rainforest.

I eventually made it back to The Albert at about 7.55 and was joined 10 minutes later by Steve and Jools, who kindly put on a sprint finish for the cameras. The rest of the mud-spattered group arrived soon after, wrung out their socks and repaired to the pub. Despite the fact that the Albert was populated by more staff than customers, it still took about 20 minutes toget the first round. First the Fosters was off, then there was no ice for Amanda's G&T, but eventually we got there. Round two produced some cloudy Brakspears and soggy crisps but the company was good, so we persevered.

At some stage Selwyn arrived from a school meeting, sporting a sticker which indicated he'd been assigned to the "red stream", presumably for mature students. He's injured at the moment, but it didn't stop him leaping on to a bar stool like a spring chicken. At our end of the table there was chat about the relative merits ofprivate/state education and Thai/Chinese food. Not sure what was discussedat the other end. I was the first to leave, so can't tell you what happened after about 9.30.Next weeks run is from The Hare and Hounds at Marlow. I was in there for lunch recently and the floor is still stained by the beer that we spilt on it last time we were there. I'm sure they'll be pleased to see us.

David

PS Steve, would you mind blogging this, as I have no idea how to do it and I want to see which photo you choose

Brett & Sarah's House, Winter Hill, Cookham Dean - 20 June 2007

Quickie report as I am not sure if we actually decided on a reporter at the Rivetts'.

Great run, ably lead by pacemaker Brett at top speed until he pulled his hamstring after 15 minutes and bailed out!!! The rest of us carried on for a further 35 minutes on the planned route.

The Village Cricket was in full swing with at least 2 sixes going over us as we descended down Kennel Lane. Gave Chris an excuse to mention his again - just before he too headed home for an early bath with a hamstring injury.

Four of us did the extra Golf Course loop on our way back to Winter Hill and the BBQ at the Rivetts'. Our finish happened to coincide with the England U21 team having a penalty shootout with Holland for a place in the final - which they eventually lost 12-13.

The food and hospitality (including a guitar accompaniment from Sebastian) was 5 star and much enjoyed and appreciated. Thanks to Brett and Sarah.

Next run is from the Prince Albert in Frieth at 7pm - see you all there....................

Jules

The Frog, Skirmitt - 13th June 2007

Run Report by Brett

I think everyone, (Dudleys, Hucks, Bartletts-male variety-and Roddicks x2, Selwyn, Steve, Richard, Doug, David, Kate and the writer) enjoyed their outing in humid conditions and beautiful Chiltern countryside last night. Jerome guided us for all of ten minutes before the Fitties and the recovered Selwyn were bold enough to go it alone, much to the chagrin of the bearded one. Us Fatties dutifully followed on what I thought was a delightful and appropriately medium length run of 45 minutes. I felt so confident in running downhill that I almost forced myself into a second gear, somewhere I hadnt been for years! However caution got the better of me.
The big boys got back in an hour, Steve burning off JB on the final strech. So 'hot' was he that he immediately joined Selwyn, David and me in the designated smoking area to the side of a pub garden best suited to selling garden furniture. This is where we stayed in between trips to the bar and an occasion when the site had to be cleared because of flying shards of glass as Rodders thru down his pint in a fit of.........Does anyone know?
Anyway to next week when The Rivetts will be hosting a post run bbq. Please meet at the viewpoint on Winter Hill from where I will plan a run of 40 mins with an extra 20 minute loop to keep the fitties happy.
Jerome knowing that its bring your own booze has done some early research. Here is an extract from this mornings touching email. 'Strongbow.....£20 for 54 cans at tesco at the moment if you buy 3x18 cases. Works out less than 48p per pint.'
Here is Richards cunning reply 'surely you can't get pi*sed for less'.
Anyway, lets move on. Us Rivs will supply all food. So that we can cater, please let me know who is coming. The invitation of course includes your other half. If you want to drop off booze beforehand then please do.
Brett

June 13th 2007

Run will be from the Frog in Skirmitt.

6:45 for a 7pm start.

The Squirrel, Penn Street, 30th May 2007

Run Report by Amanda


First I do hope that I have emailed this report to the correct email addresses otherwise I might receive a ranting response from Mr Irate in Hambleden.
Well the numbers were a bit down for last night's run so we now have three categories of runners : fitties, fatties and slackers . I would ask each of you to work out honestly which category you belong to ? Yes there might be some rude awakenings for some of you - no - one will be named and shamed yet but you know who you are.
Jules, me, Kate, John, Duds, Baz, Michael, Steve and a new runner Stella set off at 7pm. Heather also joined us but decided to complete a shorter run. I guess that the slackers are wondering who Stella is. Well she is slim, has lovely shiny red hair and is a speedy runner although she needs to be put on a lead on the road. Despite Jules creating a new route, we decided to run the old tried and tested route. It was very very wet on the ground and very slippy and after about 5 minutes of running I fell over and managed to do a full face plant in the some big puddles.I do not know how it happened but I think I was too busy chatting to Kate about clothes and shopping at the time. I was literally covered in mud from head to foot although I am pleased to report that my sunglasses stayed in situ - I do not understand how I managed to get so muddy but I did. Anyhow no injuries suffered we carried on at quite a pace with very few stops (well none for me actually) - come back Selwyn and David we miss you.
On the way back to the pub, we met up with Heather and I ran the last leg back to the pub with her along the road. I did not want to have any more falls.
To be honest I cannot really remember what we talked about in the pub but that is not anything to do with the company but more to do with the fact that I had mud stuck in my ears.
Next weeks run will be from the Crooked Billet. Sheepridge Lane, Little Marlow at 7pm. However, I have just discovered that the England v Estonia match starts at 7.45 so if we want to watch that then we may have to meet somewhere else. It is on Sky One.
see you all on Wednesday
Amanda

The Mowchak, Stokenchurch, May 23rd 2007

Run Report by Kate

Better late than never!
On a hot and humid evening, me, Amanda, Presso, Dominique, Chris, Steve, Jules, David, Brett, Michael ( can’t remember anymore apologies if I have left anyone out!) met in the car park of the Mowchak. Selwyn was however conspicuous in this absence some legal matter but whatever you do don’t ask Amanda or she will have to kill you! A prompt start, as all were keen to get back for the football at 7.45pm. Instead as in previous years from this pub heading off towards the M40, we crossed the road and ran towards Radnage, very much the preferred option. With the heat of the evening the ‘pack’ became quite spread out, when we did finally regroup, we all lamented the fact that we had not brought water with us. When we once again set out we lost both David and Presso to ‘calls from the pub’ and in all honesty I was quite tempted to join them!
The route finally joined up with the ‘old Wednesday run’ and we were all on familiar territory, Jules, Chris, Steve and Dominique broke off for a further loop, leaving the rest of us the make our way back to the Mowchak. Once back at the pub, we found that JB had managed to join the group, and that Presso and David with pints in front of them had managed to secured a good section of the bar ensuring the all members of the group had a good view of the football.
Amanda using all her negotiating skills ordered some nibbles which were gratefully received, slight fight over the last bowl of popperdoms caused by JB who insisted on having ‘just one more’! Between the eating (without plates), drinking and general chat, some football was also being watched and various theories on Liverpool and their style of play, in comparison the other clubs such as Manchester United were unleashed upon the group and were a cause of much discussion between one or two people. Needless to say I remain quiet at this point and merely thought that Liverpool were wearing a rather nice shade of red, not too bright.
My concentration was wondering at this point, the final score was 2-1 to Milan with Liverpool getting at last a goal in the last few minutes. Against the run of play? The best team won? I’ve got no idea!
This week, tomorrow! Is at The Squirrel in Penn St, at 7pm, many thanks to Chris R who has said he is happy to lead. Heather I suggest you get your stilettos ready, there really is no excuse for this one, as it’s on your door step!
See you all tomorrow
Kate

Grouse and Ale, Lane End, 16th May 2007

Run Report by Steve

“…..so David, are you now living in sheltered accommodation” asked Susie of Mr Abbott regarding his new house. David, momentarily stunned, looked at her, turned to the others in the pub and …

But hey, I’m getting ahead of myself here. I should start the run report from the beginning. However I could not pass up the opportunity to place this outstanding line at the head of my humble report

Jules, Amanda, Kate, John, Fred, Jerome, Richard, David and I assembled at a new venue - the Grouse & Ale in Lane End. The run took us through the centre of Lane End and out towards the shooting ground via Millennium Park – an area of rough grassland that singularly fails to live up to its triumphal name. After Jules taking us down a couple of minor u-turns, it was left to Jerome to read the map the right way up and lead the way along the very pleasant downhill woodland track, past the shooting ground and towards the Piccadilly bend on the Lane End to Marlow road. The shooting ground was in full swing and the group did seem to speed up noticeably once the sound of shotguns got very near.

After crossing the road we headed down across a very pleasant wooded valley, across loads and loads of fields and up to Moor Common. By this point it was raining and we were a bit knackered and so we ran the last half a mile or so back to Lane End on the road (avoiding the last footpath).

As a general observation it would seem that there is somewhat of a cartographical battle being fought in our quest for new routes this year. For last nights run, it seemed there was a definite Jerome vs. Jules thing going on. Jules being the raffish conquistador, intent on ploughing on through vine-infested thickets with the vague promise of hitting a path at some point. And Jerome the wily fox, hanging back a little, surveying the land – assessing the directional options with primeval expertise before making his considered move. I’m not getting involved.

At the pub we were joined by Chris and Susie who had run down from Radnage (or so they said) to join us.

The re-furbished Grouse and Ale (it used to be the very dodgy Clayton Arms) met with great approval from us all and looks to be a firm contender to be the Christmas meal or final run of the year venue.

It was in the pub that we took to discussing David’s new house and the problems he is getting in gaining approval from his elderly neighbours for his erection (ooh!) ……of a Sky dish on his property. Hence the comment from Susie. Amanda also gave us an impromptu demonstration of her extra scary serious legal face

Next weeks run is from The Mowchak at 7pm. I will check beforehand that they have the Champions League on the TV.

Jolly Farmer, Cookham Dean - 9th May 2007

Run Report by Richard

On what was a damp and grey evening Duds, Brett & Sarah, Michael, Chris, Jerome, Kate, Jules & Amanda and myself (sorry if i've missed anyone) met at the Jolly Farmer for a 7pm start. The first half of the run seemed liked the old days with as many stops as you could wish for (not sure why) and no sign of any hills. As always my memory of the run and which direction I was running in is less than clear, I believe Maidenhead was the general direction. After a brief unplanned blip in the route leading up to the Robin Hood pub we were back on course and heading through the woods in the direction of home. Jerome explained to me that he favoured these less hilly runs and made an analogy with a juggernaut. Simply put when the juggernaut is on the flat its unstoppable when on a hill it can only chug along at 3 miles an hour. I followed the unstoppable juggernaut with a smile.

The group then split up for the final push home with the brave few taking on the "steps". I was lucky enough to be with Duds who had discovered a gift for map reading and after passing the turkey farm managed to navigate us directly into the pub's rear garden, legend. Personally I thought the run was excellent.

Usual drinks at the pub with as many bags of crisps as I've seen post run, it was noted that pork scratching's are not available at the Jolly Farmer. (too posh)
The conversation was diverse.......... Amanda was gutted that she'd missed a tv programme called gangs which is based on two rival groups from El Salvador called gang "13" and gang "18". Complex. This is hosted by the guy from East Enders, Wayne Mitchell! But wasn't he a cult hero for Wycombe Rugby club scoring a try in the John Player Cup when Wycombe lost 48-19 to Leicester? No,clearly it was Grant Mitchell - Ross Kemp!! Although Wayne would be good on TV but in something more blue. This then lead to Duds summary of another tv programme called the perfect murder, which is based on how to commit the perfect murder which I still don't know as Duds only described a featured dead man and the size of his "old chap" Lastly Jerome will soon have access to (not sure how) and head up the England Rugby squad, first on his list of priorities would be a change of tour rules and specifically no right hand drinking enforced. Seems the world cup is in safe hands.

Next weeks run is from the Duck & Grouse (or something) in Lane End - by the pond.

Richard

The Hucks, Radnage - 2nd May 2007

Run Report by Rodders



Details of Run/Football are a bit hazy and mixed up but, here goes:
The entire Man U squad met at Jules and Amanda's.
A brief knock around that saw Doug at his dazzling best (twice coming close to getting the ball of Oliver Huck Age 8)
As is traditional on European nights we were accompanied on to the pitch and for the first 50m by two young mascots (Sam and Oliver).
The boy Duds was a real handful early on a number of darting runs and guttural rumblings kept the rest of the field well back.
Ronaldo had a shocker, never really recovered from being court from behind by Jerome.
Things only got worse a up front as Kaka was all over the place and many of the boys got it on their shoes!
All safely back at the Hucks the girls disappeared for a early bath accompanied by Jules! (The advantage of a home tie I guess!)
Much beer and food was severed up by our very generous hosts (Thank you very much)
Next Week (Tomorrow) the run will be from the Jolly Farmer at Cookham!
Going to try and keep the new routes going
a 7pm meet as the days are getting longer.
(Sorry Brett if that is not a good location)
Steve: Sorry the report is so late and I have no pictures

Run Report - The Gate, Briants Bottom. 25th April 2007

5.2 miles / 775ft climb / 1:05

Report by Jules

The weather remained unseasonably warm and dry for the third run of the season. Are April showers a thing of the past?

After some debate in the pub car park (which we had filled up!) John promised a “New and Interesting” alternative to the usual Gate run that had been enjoyed by us all for the past few years.

So the committed band of runners set out on “John’s Jaunt” - John B himself, Jerome, Chris, Kate, Amanda, Selwyn, Steve, Michael, Doug, Duds, Presso, David and Myself. We started with the usual hill into Piggots Wood (see map) a descended down to the road near to the Ice Cream Factory. From here a shout of “go right” set the faster runners off at a reasonable pace up the road with Duds explaining just how good the Ice Cream was (Yes – Duds has been seen mixing it at the front!!). This might be why we didn’t notice for about a half mile that John had recalled us as we should have turned left.

The remainder of the run was very pleasant and enjoyable, littered with adolescent memories for Duds and regular checking and rechecking of the map by John, Chris, Jerome and me. Lucky some of us know how to read it…… The patches of bluebells were as impressive as ever although not as dense or aromatic as the previous week – see photo.

Total time out was just over the hour for most of us although Chris peeled off for an additional 30 minutes - with our car key or so. Susie had missed us at the start but had gone out on her own – without getting lost!

The Pub was very hospitable and quite apologetic that the European Cup game (Chelsea v Liverpool) could not be shown. They had decided not to pay the £3000+ annual licence fee for Sky Sports for obvious reasons – although our consumption of snacks would have gone some way towards funding it! Heather joined us briefly in the Pub having been running at home on the Running Machine!

See you all next Wednesday in Radnage. Milan v Manchester United on widescreen and lots of wholesome snacks. I will organise a route with shortcut (and maps) for those wishing to get back promptly. Please bring drinks and swimmers if you fancy a dip – 7:00 pm start.