Uncle Tom's Cabin, Cookham Dean - 3rd June 2009

Run Report by Duds

A gaggle of runners met (early ?!) at Uncle Tom's Cabin in Cookham Dean last Wednesday evening for a 7 pm start.

Ladies first… Heather, Sarah, Amanda and Susie…...were joined by Presso, Rodders, Jules, Baz (sporting a very tidy colostomy bag on his back but filled with water for those with a thirst - I can't wait to see what it looks like once filled with 2 litres of Brakspears for the "long walk"), Spider, Selwyn, Brett and his bike, John, Jerome plus chien (the animal; not his mood) and myself. Kate joined us later for drinks after having spent an evening honing her bod in the gym for the return of a certain person from Glasgow……

Heather and Brett did their own thing ("half an hour" I overheard Brett bragging later) whereas the rest of us set off on a truly beautiful, and not too hilly I might add (thanks Sarah), course from Cookham Dean along the river roughly towards Bourne End and then up and over the golf course back to the pub. Must have taken around 45 minutes at a guess.

This was the first time in my long experience that the group had split not only into Fitties and Fatties but into a sub-section called Uber-Fatties and Unter-Fatties (sorry if my use of Deutsche is completely wrong here Susie) of which I was proud to be a member of the former along with Amanda, Spider and Sarah. The Unter-Fatties were, from memory, Presso and Selwyn though I think it was more a case of "can't be arsed" to run the extra 100 yards than "can't". Nevertheless, both the Fitties and the Unter-Fatties got back before my group which wasn't quite as we had planned it………………

I was driving so I was on a strict diet of water and crisps only [other than a quick bowl or two of peanuts and Tabasco sauce thanks Brett] whereas everyone else seemed to be giving the wine and beer some serious hammer. I have no idea what everyone else was talking about (Presso, Rodders and Baz - no guesses there) and there was plenty of giggling and guffawing from the ladies and I have no idea why but it did seem to coincide with Kate's arrival……. In our corner, it was all pretty humdrum stuff (visits to the Job Centre, Spider's interview, Yo Sushi and the merits of snorting Wasabi chez les Bartletts in Hambleden, how fantastic is Sky +, the Lions, coitus non-interruptus…..you know, the usual banter).

It was unanimously (?) decided to return to the park near Hughenden for next week's run starting from the car park near the Church. We then usually adjourn to the Harrow at the other end of the village for copious amounts of porky scratchings and alcohol…… I'm looking forward to it already. Can I have a lift please someone ?

Yours truly,
Duds.